Honouring the Dead: Harry's  Vigil
by wingnutdawn
Summary: After the funerals Harry feels the need to do something more. spoilers for DH


**Honouring the Dead: The Vigil **

For the next few weeks after the funerals were held for the fallen heroes, there was a sense of unreality as each person who had survived struggled to get their own lives back on track. Madame Pomfrey was kept busy as some of the students and staff came in with physical symptoms such as tightness in the throat shortness of breath and extreme fatigue along with mixed and confusing emotional symptoms of anger and guilt.

Professor McGonagall, who had been appointed Headmistress after the defeat of Voldemort, realized that it was going to take time before things would get back to a normal state encouraged each and everyone to take time to grieve for those who were lost. A time passed there developed a new awareness of the Preciousness of life and deeper friendships were forming among the members of the different houses as they met, comforted each other and shared their reminiscences of the dead.

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In the Gryffindor common room Harry was feeling angry and guilty at the same time. He agonized as he struggled with emotions that seemed overwhelming. Anger and guilt fought with a very frightening feeling of losing emotional control in front of the others. He knew that everyone else was having somewhat the same problems but he just couldn't let go.

Harry felt like he needed to do something more- a personal goodbye. He asked Hermione and Ron if they would accompany him out to the two tombs where he wished to burn a remembrance candle.

"A Remembrance Candle? Asked Ron as he watched the flames in the fireplace leap about. "We just went through several days of funeral services for the dead." He said with a slight touch of bitterness in his voice. "I don't think lighting a stupid candle will bring my brother Fred back."

"Oh hush Ron." chided Hermione. "A Remembrance Candle is an excellent Idea. I will come with you." She looked at Harry and then turned back to Ron. She softened her voice as she explained. "Remembrance Candles honour the memory of a loved one and celebrate and acknowledge their lives."

"I think I will join you also, with a candle for Fred." said Ron as Hermione transfigured three quills into candles.

They walked down the moving staircases to the Entrance Hall where the torches were burning. Pausing to listen, they could still hear echoes of the gaiety in the Great Hall where the celebrations had been held a few weeks earlier with the sense of loss and sadness that had permeated the scene.

The trio then silently slipped out of the castle through the huge double oak front doors and stopped to look up at the sun that was slowly setting in the west. As the Sun set and the sky slowly darkened, Harry held up a Candle of Remembrance which he lit. Hermione and Ron followed his lead and did the same with their own candles. Silently they waited nearby as he stood looking up at the gradual darkening sky. They knew he wished to grieve for everyone he had loved and lost. They watched the flames flicker and grow stronger as they burned away the wick and the wax dripped down the sides.

Harry looked out in the direction of the Whomping Willow and thought of how ironic it was that Severus Snape would meet his end there where he had nearly met his death as a student, a victim of a snake bite yet. Harry wondered how come Snape died so quickly when two years ago Arthur Weasley had been bitten by the same snake, and even with the delay of help in getting to him, had lived.

Harry looked solemn as they walked slowly towards the white tomb and the new black one that sat nearby. Standing in front of them, he hesitated slightly as he looked at both of the tombs then placed his candle down on top of the Black Tomb as Ron and Hermione placed theirs on Dumbledores White Tomb. He stared into the single bright red orange flame that showed in the gathering dark. He thought of all those who died, and he talked about his Mother and Father who perished while trying to protect him from Voldemort; also Sirius who fell through the archway at the Ministry, and Cedric Diggory who was killed by Voldemort at the end of the Triwizard tournament.

He spoke to his companions of how Hedwig never had a chance to fly, when he was killed during the flight away from number four Privet Drive; Mad-Eye with all his precautions, who still died, Dobby whose devotion caused him to come to Harry's rescue and that of his companions at Malfoy Manor; Remus and Tonks who had left their newborn son Teddy behind, an orphan; Fred Weasley, nevermore to create the pranks that he and his brother were famous for; Colin Creevy would never again capture images in time with his camera. These were only a few of those who had left to go on to "the next great adventure" as Headmaster Dumbledore said death was.

The trio sensed someone following behind them, and looked back: Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout and Slughorn followed with a large group of wizards and witches with them who stared solemnly at the trio, with their own candles in hand. House Elves and fellow students were also standing among the crowd.

"Do you mind if we accompany you in your Vigil?" Professor McGonagall asked in response to the silent question in Harry's eyes. "I think we all need to work through our feelings before moving forward. "

Harry smiled and nodded politely as he motioned toward the Whomping Willow that protected the entrance to where Snape had met his horrible end. Harry then looked back at the black tomb where his single candle was still managing to stay alive.

"There were so many deaths that I feel responsible for, Mad-eye Moody died because I had to be retrieved from Privet Dr., Dobby died because of his devotion to me... Sirius, Cedric Diggory." Harry paused and looked up and into the stern but loving eyes of Professor McGonagal said as he nodded towards the black tomb. "I don't know why exactly but his death though, upsets me the most. I watched him get bit by Nagini and did nothing to try and save him." Harry said softly. "I didn't understand till I saw all those memories."

"Harry, none of us fully understood till it was too late." Flitwick said quietly. "Each of us has our own Heaven and Hell. Only our hearts know for sure which route we take that will satisfy our needs for love and acceptance.. or redemption."

"Or redemption." Harry repeated as the dark enfolded everyone till only the glowing flames of the candles could be seen.


End file.
